Yesterday was the Bell Let’s Talk day so, that’s cool. Folks started sharing, and Bell will give money – that’s a good thing.
I saw someone post that they “did not need Bell to tell them to talk about mental health issues.” and I thought, wow – shouldn’t we be supporting both the big and small initiatives that bring positive attention to mental health issues?  Why put down something that might be the ONLY WAY others will even begin to feel like they can talk about it.
Now there is a counter-argument to the Bell adventures well expressed here, that addresses a larger issue of our present love/hate relationship with technology. But until  something takes out all of our infrastructure, this < internet and phones> is one of the ways we reach each other.
And yes, mental health should be talked about all year long, and my social media streams are FULL of people taking the initiaive on their own to share their stories and  express their situations throughout the year. But that’s the social media stream of me, a creative person with creative friends from all walks of life who have created our own safe community in which we can be purple whacky on occasion, as we know we are not alone.
Thank you, Bell, for doing something to bridge the gap between those of us who are struggling daily with a variety of issues, but do have a safe place to talk, and those who would be dismissed or treated with disdain if they really told people what was going on in their minds.
I also read this article and shared it – so here it is again – loads of the people who do not feel comfortable talking about it are high functioning…”anxietists “< that’s not a word. I’m being lazy/creative>:
https://themighty.com/2017/01/high-functioning-social-anxiety-mental-illness/
So, if you have read this far, here’s a bit of my journey. I’ve done therapy a couple of times with different levels of therapists.  One test I took to determine my level of anxiety < I had developed random panic attacks> put me at 60-65% on the scale. 50% meant you were fine, and not really needing therapy, so I was just dipping a toe into the pool of purple whacky.
When I had first talked to my physician about the panic attacks, I was told by this very athletic woman to,” Just go for a run”. Hi, have you met me. I don’t run unless it’s to catch the bus or my dog.  and even then…
Her tone was dismissive, reinforcing the voices already in my head that told me to get over myself already.  I know what I have to do to be healthy – eat better, exercise more, get proper sleep…blah,blah,blah.
But there are the other voices that say, “You are self employed, and cannot refuse work, so you must work as much as possible;  and YOU MUST BE PERFECT WIHT EVERYTHING YOU DO. You must do all the things, you don’t have time to cook a proper meal so just grab something quick and yummy.”
I try to exercise regularly < dancing and walking> and try to mix things up every once in a while with different activities to prove to myself I’m not totally out of shape – which by the way – is how I feel in my head most of the time.
I try to eat healthy and prepare meals, but reality in my world, I have a niche clientele that I predominantly cater to and “Bridal season” is even longer now than it once was. And convenience is a thing.  But yes, I feel guilty every time I choose something easy and hopefully semi healthy over fresh – but budget and time are factors, so that’s a thing too.
AS I type this, All I can hear is – excuses!!! these are just excuses!!!
So, yeah – it’s constant.
And I should get to work. because while I know that work is a distraction from focusing on me, I also have bills to pay and clients that I want to serve in my best possible way.
Oh, and in my sewing business, when I don’t achieve the perfect finished garment – OMG – it’s a shower of self doubt, why do I do this, I’m not good enough to claim I can do this. I do make to not express my disappointment in myself nor be a disappointment to my clients < I know there are some unresolved issues in there>, and I apologize to those  clients who have seen the darkness creeping out through the cracks in the veneer.
But we are supposed to talk about this mental health stuff right?

Thanks for coming. Thanks for dancing. Thanks for supporting. There are so many people involved in the OCCPs that I hope I have conveyed to each of you my profound gratitude in person so that you know you have helped make all of the years so very special.

Now, in answer to the many questions…sort of , at least.
My mom always said she is only 39 – thus I had to stop counting my age at 37 so that I never get older than her.
37 is a wonderful prime number and, as a reckoner of time, 37 shows a reasonable amount of life experience has been garnered but there’s still lots of juice left for adventures.
So, December 14th was the 37th Class Party < the name changed to the Ottawa Centre, then Community Class Party maybe 10-12 years ago> I will have organized since I began teaching in 1998.
And it’s a good time to stop.
Many of my friends already thought I was done when I announced last year that I would no longer host a June event, but I had been a bit vague about December’s event.
After  a very “community-minded “lunch with two influential folk –  my husband, and best dance bud, it was expressed that doing one more, and then making with an official announcement, might be a good way to pass the torch.
So from a crazy BBQ in my backyard for the  the first few June shows – remember those Linda and Susi? –  to various restaurant locations for the December shows, growing to a peak of 400 + attendees for a few years and needing the Bronson Centre as our venue, with a variety of community centre locations along the way, I have been most happy at the University of Ottawa Alumni Auditorium location – even with the construction, crazy displays in the hallways and the other  whacky challenges.
I’ll always be grateful to my friends who have helped over these many years by volunteering to herd the dancers, help with set up, stage management, emceeing, promoting and of course performing and bringing their student groups out to dance!
Our community has lots of potential. And I hope that those who decide to take advantage of the opportunity to create they own community minded dance showcase/ presentation/ etc will continue to offer new dancers ta safe space in which  to perform.
But really, it won’t be my show anymore, so just be sure to save me a seat – and a slot for my students/ and/or crew to dance!
Classes start January 18th – go sign up!
Some memories:

Teaching, yes!

Performing with Bollywood For Fun, YES!

Getting creative with TAV Creations, YES!

How’s your fall been going?